Choosing Magic Over Busy: Embracing Moments of Motherhood

We've all heard that saying "It takes a village" when it comes to raising children. Although this phrase is commonly used, it's isn't as common to find this so called "village". This village has very much been a mythical tale for me, and talking to other moms I have realized that I am not alone.

In today's world, we live for convenience. Today we work so hard running from one task to the next with the goal to accomplish as much as we can with the time that we are given. As a mom, that looks like optimizing time and planning out your day: breakfast, get the kids dressed, pack snacks & water, load up, go to the grocery store, go home, unload groceries, make lunch, tidy up mess from meal prep, change diapers, prep for nap, lay down kids for nap, encourage older kids to play quietly, sit down with planner or maybe start a load of laundry ... and on and on it goes.

As a mom we know that when we have a free moment we need to take advantage and accomplish whatever task that is on our long list of to do's. Every day it's wake up, take care of the kids, and try to keep up with the groceries, house, school actives, laundry and so forth. It's a wonder why we burn out. There is hardly any time left to take care of ourselves once it's all said and done.

With all that running around I realized that I'm missing out on the magic moments of childhood. I'm so busy running around that I'm missing out on forming lasting bonds with my children.

The social media world we live in encourages self isolation behaviors and it falsely leads moms to believe that they are alone in their isolation. Everyone always looks like they have it all together on social media. We have lost the ability to organically connect with people that we encounter in our day to day and part of the problem, I believe, is that we make ourselves so busy running ourselves ragged that we have convinced ourselves that we do not have time.

That is a phrase I wish I could permanently omit from my vocabulary "I don't have time" or "We don't have time". Does this ring a bell for you?

Your son comes up to you as ya'll are about to head out the door to the grocery store, ya'll are on a time schedule and running slightly behind, and he asks "Mom can I wear my costume to the grocery store". Your mind begins to race as you start doing the mom calculations in your head and you ultimitley calculate that honoring this request means adding at least 10 min on to your departure time, so you reply "We don't have time", and you then usher your kids out the door. We don't have time. That one phrase and I've realized I am missing out on what could have been a magical moment for him or for us a family.

I don't have time. I don't have time to make friends, I don't have time for a play date, I don't have time for a moms night out, I don't have time to go to that play, I don't have time to go to that game, I don't have time. I make time for the mundane but when it comes to the things that really matter .. all of a sudden .. I don't have time.

Isolation is more than just loneliness. It's like being stranded in the hot desert with all the means to live but no way to truly enjoy living. Your hot, uncomfortable and every day you wake up and you do the same things, the things you need to do to survive. You find small joys throughout the day but you're not really living.

As a mom I've recently realized I need to make a change. I need to make time. Make time for community, make time to allow these magic moments. Maybe we are late to an event, maybe we don't get the grocery shopping done (Mac & Cheese for the win). It's not going to be the end of the world. But what will keep me up at night when my kids are grown and the house is quiet and there is no more "running around" will be all the wasted moments because I didn't stop and make time.

So here I am; an introverted, stay at home mom, attempting to make time. To make time so that my kids can wear the costume, make time to schedule a play date, make time to get involved at my boys school. So what if the laundry goes another day, so what if the dishes don't get put away, so what if there are little dog hair tumbleweeds rolling across the floor. I choose to make time and allow myself some grace. I choose my kids and I choose me. My son will not remember that the house was a little messy but he will remember that one time he got to wear his costume to the grocery store.

Till next time... remember in the depths of a mother's love, lies an unshakable source of inner strength.

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